I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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