i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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