That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I would fuck him just for his dog
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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