Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
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Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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