we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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