Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
