And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
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A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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