at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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