you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
