I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
that's an acceptable place to lick
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
