hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
