It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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