I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize