I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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