at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
