you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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