i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
