This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
