omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
