Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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