I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
