A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
