If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize