just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize