I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
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Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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