i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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