My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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