so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
