Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize