Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
