The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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