Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
