I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
