3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
