I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
