Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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