If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
