Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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