Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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