Barsexuality is the new black.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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