i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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