I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
