I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize