You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
