i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize