I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
