glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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