Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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