john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
