Whod you bang
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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