I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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