Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize