The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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