Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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