i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
