You don't have asthma, your pregnant
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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