Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize