Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
