If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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