Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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