the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
