I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
