I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
