On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
one two three fourrrrnication!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize