He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
